The Table
Lyrics 
This table has four sturdy legs
A heart of very near wild oak
When others would have screamed out loud, my friend
This one never even spoke
full lyrics... 
This table has four sturdy legs
A heart of very near wild oak
When others would have screamed out loud, my friend
This one never even spoke
full lyrics... 
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Features Of This Song
pop rock qualities
a subtle use of vocal harmony
repetitive melodic phrasing
acoustic rhythm piano
acoustic sonority
major key tonality
a vocal-centric aesthetic
a dynamic male vocalist
acoustic rhythm guitars

These are just a few of the hundreds of attributes cataloged for this song by the Music Genome Project.
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I've been treated like a bed
I've been taken for a fool
I've been wined upon ooh
I've been treated like a bed
I've been spat upon ooh
This one never even spoke
I've been taken for a fool
Taken for a desk
Put me on a bonfire, watch me burn
When someone thinks they're dead
When someone thinks that they are right
I've been spat upon ooh
Banged upon with knuckles clenched my friend
I've been wined upon ooh
A heart of very near wild oak
I've been sat upon ooh
Treat me with some dignity, don't treat me like a slave
Tables only turn when tables learn
When they should have been at school
Tables only turn when tables learn
Publisher: ISLAND MUSIC LTD
Songwriters: Paul Heaton, Dave Rotheray
Put me on a bonfire, watch me burn
I've been sat upon ooh
Or I'll turn into the coffin in your grave
When someone thinks they're dead
This table has four sturdy legs
I've been taken for a fool
Treat me with some dignity, don't treat me like a slave
I've been dined upon ooh
This table's been pushed against the door
I've been treated like a bed
I've been dined upon ooh
Taken for a desk
Been carried like a stretcher
When tempers, well tempers flare at night
Been carried like a stretcher
Been carried like a stretcher
Or I'll turn to the coffin in your grave
When others would have screamed out loud, my friend
When they should have been at school
I've been spat upon ooh
I've been sat upon ooh
Taken for a desk
When they should have been at school
When someone thinks they're dead
I've been wined upon ooh
I've been dined upon ooh