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firering<3

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I try to stand unshakable; I try to remain strong for you, but I feel I am to crumble. I can no longer withstand the weight constantly weighing on me. Pulling me down... My knowledge of words is gone from me, extracted from my mind and I have no means to express just how broken I feel; the hurt; the self hatred, the guilt, the worthlessness, the pain. I am unable to unleash a river of tears that daily threaten to burst forth. But will not. So a flood of pain stays dammed behind my eyes. Do not look into my eyes! Turn your gaze away lest you should drown in the abyssal pool of sorrow they've become. Do not tell me I am lovely; avert your eyes lest you should behold the faceless void my skin conceals. All I have to say, in my deep shame, is I'm sorry. I'm sorry, so sorry. And then I weep, now to see your joy...

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